well isn't this wonderful...

you know when you know something is gonna happen and you can't do anything to stop it? and then you just watch it slowly happen right before you and you never notice it really happen because it is a gradual thing and then you have that eye opening WOW its really gone now. well i am now stuck in the watching and waiting part. it really sucks. because i know when it happens i will look back and be like how the eff did that happen it was so awesome how did that just end? of course the EXACT SAME THING happened last year but that one i am able to kinda fix it but i know this time i am just not good enough. you like to pretend it isn't gonna happen because it can't like impossible! but then when you had planned something and then they choose to do something else and then you kinda feel like you are not good enough. and i have felt that way enough through out my life i don't really need it anymore. well disappointment is always right around the corner. and no matter how stable you think something is with just a tiny storm the whole thing can come crashing down. BAHHHHH IM SOOO MAD! okay well thats today in the life of miss sarah